Ghost of Christmas Past

While cleaning up I found something... a ghost of Christmas past if you will. This is a draft of the first issue of a school newspaper we used to publish. I was in grade 12 back then. The idea was supported by the administration. An issue would sell for 1000 LL.

This was an excellent exercise in freewriting, journalism, editing... And it made us feel rather special that we had such a cool project.
Any student could contribute content, and many did...

Here's the full draft:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ivfcjy52xclv9r6/Qss%20Newsletter%201.pdf

Bring back the Gladiators

Everyday we yearn for that adrenalin rush but we don’t know where to get our fix. Some of us resort to extreme sports, other drive their cars really fast endangering the lives of the innocent. You even have those who join warring factions and fight others in proxy wars just for the fun of it, the good pay, and the glory.

My solution is nicer: Bring back the gladiator games of yore.
Before you start telling me how the gladiator games are barbaric and uncivilized, please note that our barbarism and lack of civility is pretty evident. We try to deny it, we try to say that we have risen above taking joy in the misery of others, in their pains, and suffering. All you need to do is see the myriad of wars that our modern civilization have started. Look at all the reality shows and movies that glorify violence.
So…
This is how we can do it in Lebanon. (And later on we export that model to the rest of the world). The most suitable place would be La Cité Sportif du Camille Chamoun. (In Lebanese: Al Mal3ab Al Baladi). The contestants would be either convicts, or volunteers who long for fame and glory. They would either have to fight each other in a one-on-one battle, or group fights like red vs blue. And bonus rounds include fighting wild beasts like tigers, lions, and rhinos. There would be a wide range of melee weapons and shields to chose from. Of course an entire industry would evolve around this. The events will be televised on pay per view channels. Tickets would be sold for the live events. Commentators would be giving you the details second by second in various commenting styles (Egyptian, American, British…) which would sound something like this: “… and he swings his battle axe at his opponent but misses by a couple of inches… Well Jim, those battle axes are heavy and not that precise…” Before the games would begin, a picture of each individual warrior would be displayed next to a bunch of statistics and info. The flag of their faction waving in the background with lively music blaring though the speakers of your 40 – inch 3D LED TV. And after the match is over, an analysis would be displayed with 3D overlays projected virtually over the arena.
Oh and the merchandise… must not forget that! Towels, mugs, pencil cases, posters, action figures, trading cards, board games, videogames… the possibilities are endless. Even advertisements would be broadcast during the games, and companies can sponsor their own heroes that would sport a Mc Donald’s shield or a Samsung helmet (complete with supporting electronics).
Weapon makers and blacksmiths would flourish and perhaps the ancient art of crafting swords from Damascus steel would be revived. Experts from various parts of the world would be hired to fashion the most elaborate and sophisticated weapons.
We can even have someone dressed as Caesar and the warriors would stand before him and cry “Ave Caesar! Morituri te salutant” (Hail Caesar! We who are about to die salute thee.)
Just Imagine it, Michel Aoun and Samir Geagea duking it out in the arena, both bloody from the cuts they have sustained. Both suddenly finding themselves back to back, two mortal enemies, forced to team up against a pack of hungry lions.
Imagine Hassan Nasrallah and Ahmad Al Assir fighting to the death. One holds a trident and a fisherman’s net, while the other has a short sword, a Spartan shield and a helmet. Suddenly a referee blows his whistle. Soft music with an epic vioce come on: “Two long standing enemies are fighting for supremacy… but at the end of the day they both agree to one thing… the refreshing taste off Coca Cola…” Nasrallah and Assir at that point each open a chilling glass bottle of Coca Cola, drink a bit, and then say: “Ahhhhhhhh, Always Coca Cola!”
I would pay good money to see that. I would TiVo that match and watch it over and over.
Just imagine, and entire industry, employing thousands, creating amazing business opportunities. And of course… that adrenalin rush you’ve been dying for…

Muslims of the world… Congratulations (then again, not)!

 

An open letter to Muslims around the world.

 

Congratulations; In a very sarcastic tone. But congratulations none the less! Why? Well look at your selves and you will know why. Islamophobia is on the rise in the world today. And the main culprit is not the western bigot. No! The one to blame is you; the common Muslim.

Allow me to elaborate.

When some idiot around the world comes up with some stupidly sounding fatwa that allows necrophilia, breast feeding grownup males, killing Mickey Mouse… what do you do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You do not protest the fatwa. You do not take to the streets in horror and disgust chanting slogans of how “they” are ruining the “good name” of Islam. In fact many of you celebrated when the terrorist attack on 9/11 happened. On the other hand, when anyone draws a silly cartoon, produces a B movie (which was a crappy production and was obviously dubbed), or even criticizes any aspect of your religion, you riot and take over embassies. Even if it is the embassy of the wrong country.
Your silence indicates either agreement or apathy. Both are unacceptable!

You care not about the latest scientific advancements, medical discoveries, philosophical and ethical arguments. All what you care about is finding the name of your god, or your prophet written inside a tomato or on a tree. You would rather believe fake stories that champion your view of religion rather than embrace common sense.

You are part of a nation that goes bezerk over how the “common Jew” is secretly plotting to control the world, and yet when it comes time to act and help your “fellow muslims” in Gaza, you shrug and label them as terrorists.

You would rather celebrate meaningless differences and demonize other Muslims that do not follow your creed rather than uniting and prospering in a solid “Muslim society”.

You claim that the “west” is conspiring against you only as an excuse to cover up your own ineptitude.

Islam may have been spread by the sword, but during the later golden ages, Muslim scientist, thinkers, philosophers, and writers contributed to the advancement of the sciences, and preserved Greek philosophy . All this was done while the “west” were passing through their darkest ages!

If you claim to be a “Muslim”, start acting like it and take some responsibility for the abysmal state to where Islam has plunged today!

This is not a child's song!

It really amuses me when I find out that at a certain kid's birthday (usually girls), one of the featured songs had to be Aqua's 'Barbie Girl'. People; wake up! Have you heard the lyrics? This is not a kid-safe song!

The lyrics have a lot of sexual innuendo in them, and sometimes it's not even innuendo.
"I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

..."

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world

Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly

You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,

kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

...

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please

I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees

Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,

hit the town, fool around, let's go party

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Don't get me wrong. I love that song. I love its meanings. And I especially find the tune very cute. But if I ever have children, I would wait a bit before I would expose them to this R rated material

Beggars and Little Urchins

Allow me first to dispense with the usual rhetoric: The government should do something about them. And I will not get into specifics like where the camps would be and what disposal procedures should be used. Or perhaps even give them an education and a future (I’m sure most of the kids are quite bright).

Oh, and giving them money only reinforces the idea that THIS is what they should be doing instead of being at school. So yes, you ARE a bad person if you give them money (even if it makes you feel better about yourself).

Assuming they grow up and some disease does not kill them, they will end up like this:

And eventually, they will die. A group of AUB students will probably decide to make a small statement, perhaps also put flowers on the spot on the street where they used to cumber, just to make themselves feel better (again). And their memory wiped out. Well not really. This blog will be there for a long time…

How sad; human life is worthless.

It’s such a beautiful day!

2011 Beirut Marathon - Medical Team

Another year has passed and once again, Beirut is hosting it’s annual marathon. And like last year I decided to volunteer in the medical team. But this year I chose to go with the Red Cross on the 42-Km track riding an ambulance with the runners.

It was a lot of fun. A big thank you goes out to the Red Cross who seemed to be omnipresent and especially unit 276 who I was riding with.

This year, unlike the last one, the medical area was linked to the finish line in the Martyr’s Plaza DT. It was much more organized :D
It was worth waking up at 5:00 in the morning just to be there…

AUB medical team on our way back to AUBMC.
Tx courtesy of the Lebanese Red Cross

 

The similarities between ED and doing my car revision

Well, well! 5000 Km have passed since I last had the oil of my car’s engine changed. I could take it to Peugeot and have the professionals do it, but it will cost me something close to US$200. On the other hand, I could go to a nearby gas station and have the oil changed there for something like US$35. And that is what I did…

While the guy there was changing the oil, trying to pump it out with what seemed to be a broken and dysfunctional vacuum pump, it got me thinking: You see I am AGAIN passing through a rotation in the Emergency Department (ED) at AUBMC. And this month I’ve had an encounter with several people who come to the ED and then bitch about how expensive it is (and they bitch about it to me. Me! A resident who has absolutely no power).

The thing is this: There are many hospitals around the area that have ED departments. Not all of them are as good as ours. But if you want professional quality of care you will have to break that piggy bank of yours. You can’t skimp on someone’s health, especially your child’s. If you come to us (AUBMC) expect to pay for that great quality. If you can’t afford it, then you probably should not have come here in the first place. Making a big deal about how expensive this place is, will not really reduce your bill. Plus, think about it… How many people go to Aïshti, Porsche, Lacoste… etc. pick something up and then bitch about the price in that shop? No one! At least no one in their right mind! So why should they expect anything different at one of the most expensive hospitals in the area?

Other things to keep in mind:
1- If you or your child have a cold case (a case that can be – and should have been – seen in a clinic), then we are not obliged to provide a quick service. You may have to wait sometime if we are overwhelmed.
2- Please, for the love of Buddha, DO NOT think you cal tell us what to do and refuse any part of our treatment. You don’t see me telling YOU how to do your job, and the same applies to us. (Unless you are a physician. In that case we will respect you decisions out of courtesy).

So in the end I chose to pay $35 and have the oil changed by the local garage and not the main company that issued my car (my lovely Peugeot 308 – codenamed Lea).

ER complaint of the day

Here in our Emergency Department (ED) we get some pretty serious cases every-once-in-a-while. But sometimes, we also get cases like this:

Mother: My little baby girl (3-month-old) was sleeping calmly in her crib. Suddenly she started crying. So I called her doctor who told me to take her to the ED.

ED shift physician: M’am, does she have any fever?

Mother: No.

Any vomiting or diarrhoea?

No.

Any rash? Any decrease in feeding? Any decrease in urine output?

No. No. No.

And to top things, she was extremely calm during her stay at our ED. Not a single sound, cry, yelp…

So there you have it… A perfectly fine baby that cried!
Apparently, babies cry now! Who knew?

An invisible world lurks around us…

War! War games! toy war…

1x1 m set with toy soldiers. The smoke is from small smoke bombs.
Post processing: Filtered B&W with/without sepia.

This was particularly a fun project to make that I’ve had in mind for quite some time. I had my cousins pitch in and help with the preparation of the set. Out of 78 photos taken, few were fit to be published. The rest were either the same or lacked good composition. (It was done out doors and I couldn’t control how the smoke filled the battlefield.)

Main thanks for Youssef “they call me Joe” Fakih and Naim “R&R” Fakih in helping out with the set and cleaning up afterwards.

Hoarding for my future house…

Since I’ve already bought a new house, I’ve started collecting things I’d like to have there. And the latest acquisition is this candle “holder” by Vellory and Bosh. The pair of them cost ~$100

I’m going to try to set a small amount from my monthly salary (which is not that much, but still…) to get some stuff. I’ll be posting them as soon as I get them.

Happy Nurses’ Day

To all the nurses out there, and especially here… Happy nurses’ day.

^ AUBMC PICU nursing staff celebrating Nurses’ Day in an exuberant fashion.